30+ Hilarious Tweets & Messages About the Joys of Modern Dating

When it comes to dating, it can be overwhelming to know what to look for. It’s why so many of us date around a bit before settling with the person we stay with long-term. For this person, the starting place is simple.

There’s nothing quite as successful as finding someone with one important quality — a willingness to date them. We have to say, it’s not a bad place to start but you might need to narrow it down from there.

You can’t learn everything about someone on the first date. If it goes well, though, you go on other dates to learn more about each other.

This person knew at least one thing their date would learn by the fourth date, at least. Can you really blame someone for their wardrobe? Maybe one Valentine’s Day, they can go clothes shopping with their girlfriend to pick up a few more.

There are some milestones in a relationship that you only reach after you’ve been together for a bit.

For example, not many people take someone to meet their parents on the first date. When you do meet them, it can still be a bit awkward and definitely nerve-wracking. So, why not defuse the tension by admitting how nervous you are? This person was ready to admit that it was a first.

With the world so connected and a lot of dating online, how can you stand out from your peers when you’re looking to date?

As for this person, they were getting back to nature. No dating apps for them, they were taking a cue from the birds. If you dress brightly and figure out an eye-catching mating dance, do you need to rely on modern dating techniques at all?

This person wasn’t about to jump online either. Still, that didn’t mean it was time for her to break out the flashy colors just yet.

Instead, this time it was time for the opposite of a flashy approach — no approach at all! If you wait long enough, maybe The One will find you if you just keep believing hard enough. Any minute now, they’ll show up to sweep you off your feet.

If you’re going to compliment someone, you might want to make sure what you’re saying sounds like an actual compliment. This one did not.

We can see how you might appreciate that someone you’re dating is different from the people you’ve dated in the past. Still, you might want to avoid telling them you appreciate them because they aren’t as pretty as the people you dated before. It’s not as flattering as you think.

As you date people, you may find yourself working really well together up to a point. A pet allergy can lead to a real decision for a couple growing closer together.

For this person, they knew who they had to get rid of. After all, was it fair to ask this guy to spend time around an animal that makes him sick? Hopefully, he’ll get adopted into a pet-free home that he’s more compatible with.

There are some things that you get used to seeing when you start dating online. Modern dating has led to modern questions about dating, right?

One trend that you often see in online dating is someone holding a fish in their profile picture. This woman couldn’t help but wonder exactly why this was such a trend among men. Is it supposed to elicit the reaction she’s talking about? What has possibly made this pose so popular?

Women deal with a lot on their dates with men. It seems like everyone has their own unsolicited opinion on how a woman is supposed to look or live her life. Take makeup, for example.

If you don’t wear any, there’s a comment but if you wear a lot of makeup, you’ll hear that it’s too much. This woman decided the best choice was to turn the tables on their date and ask him about how much makeup he was wearing.

There’s an old saying that if you’re trying to find something that’s not easy to find, you’re looking for a needle in a haystack.

The opposite image is a bit more terrifying than frustrating since it actually requires you to reach into a pile of needles. However, as this person puts it, that’s exactly what modern dating can feel like sometimes. We hope that piece of hay is worth all the trouble!

One of the sad things about dating is that there’s no guaranteed success. This means that from time to time, you’re bound to have to deal with a bit of heartbreak. You have to let yourself grieve the loss of the relationship, too.

This person had the stages of grief nailed down but not exactly how you might find them in a psychology textbook. Still, who could look past this all-too-important final stage of this process?

When you’re on a first date, there are some things that you really want to do. For instance, maybe you want to talk about a specific topic or try for a kiss.

There are also a few things that you probably don’t want to do on a date. For one, most people wait a while before they start passing gas in front of their significant other but if this guy really doesn’t want anyone to be tense, he might have to deal with a stench.

As we’ve already covered, dating someone is a lot of fun but there’s always the risk that it won’t work out. It looks like that’s what happened here.

This person gave us a glimpse into what they really wanted to say when the person they’d been seeing ended things. We have to say, they were pretty nice about it but even then modern dating can make you feel a little bitter from time to time.

Once a relationship is over, what do you do? In most cases, all that’s left to do is move on and do your best to move forward.

Of course, with social media around, it isn’t as easy to do this as it once was. Before, if you wanted to look at memories, you cracked open a photo album. Now, they can sneak up on you by way of social media notifications.

When you think of love, what do you think of it? Do you think of finding someone who will look at you with love and adoration in their eyes? What does that expression look like?

Well, this person found a great example as they observed the love that their little brother has for ketchup. To be honest, he does look pretty in love with that condiment here. We hope someone bought him a bottle.

If you want to meet someone, where do you go? In the modern dating atmosphere, you might go online to see who you can meet.

This woman was so tired of the whole thing, she knew a faster way to get someone to approach. All you have to do is head to Lowe’s and look a little lost. Honestly, many women find they can look pretty confident and someone will still make sure they know what they’re doing.

As we’ve covered before, your first date is often focused on getting to know one another. Plus, you get the chance to flirt and try to impress one another. When it came to flirty questions, this person wanted to give it a try.

In reality, though, it’s not as easy as you might think it is, and winging it can lead you to say some bizarre things. We wonder which Muppet it was, though.

There are a few old-school tricks that can still impress your date. No matter what you identify as a little gesture like holding the door can be nice. Of course, you could take things a step further.

Why not take the chance to show your date how strong you are and just rip the door right off its hinges? Well, maybe the property damage and the fearful reaction you might elicit are a couple of reasons to rethink it.

If you turn on most classic romantic movies, you get to see the cliché of the characters watching the day come to an end as the sky gets darker at sunset.

Naturally, you can do this in the modern dating age as well. You can also try a more modern version and throw on a movie while your phone battery sinks lower and lower. Eventually, the screen will go dark like the sky.

When you’re getting ready for a date, you might feel a little nervous and very excited. So, it’s natural to start getting ready a little early.

Well, that can make it extra disappointing if your date tries to reschedule at the last minute. You would hope your date would at least have a good excuse for this but this one just wanted to record a quick podcast with his pals. Maybe it’s time to just cancel the date altogether.

When you’re out dating, you might have things that you look for in a potential partner that really make you swoon or break the whole deal for you. These boundaries can be a little different for everyone.

This person knew one thing that would make them leave the date immediately. After all, who could help but laugh at a fart noise at an inopportune moment? Not anyone they’re compatible with it seems.

There are certain milestones in a relationship that are a really big deal. For instance, “I love you” isn’t something most people say for the first time lightly. This person found a very modern comparison of what it felt like.

We can see how the comparison works, too. Who wants to get locked out of the wifi network you’re on or hear that someone doesn’t love you back? Okay, maybe one is more easily remedied than the other.

There are some words that we tend to overuse in the English language. For instance, when you say “just,” you might not mean it as exclusively as it comes out.

This person found that they weren’t talking as exclusively as they thought they were. After all, if your only standard was for someone who could make you laugh, you might have more suitors than you really want. Maybe it’s time to think of a few other qualities, too.

If you aren’t into online dating, you can always head for a night out and see who you meet. Knowing where to go to meet people isn’t always easy.

A DJ like this could really save you some time on things. If you show up somewhere to meet people and you could just be told that isn’t the vibe, it could save you a lot of time and maybe even a little bit of heartache.

There are a lot of different ways to meet people when you’re looking to start dating. One option you can turn to is speed dating.

It’s called speed dating because the concept is that you date a lot of people in one event. Since you’re meeting so many people, you have to be quick. Of course, most of us are more familiar with this person’s version of speed dating, aren’t we?

When you were in school, you probably considered your crush when you were picking out an outfit. What would they notice as you walk through the halls?

Today, you might not have to walk through school halls anymore but the concept is still very much alive. If you want to impress someone, you could always try to catch their eye as they scroll through their social media feed that day.

Some things are unfortunate in any light. Getting your credit card stolen can leave you in a real pinch and cause serious problems.

On the other hand, when this person went to see what the thief had been up to, they were more surprised than they thought they’d be. As it turned out, this thief just wanted a chance at love. He knows that there are free options out there, right?

If you like the pilot of a show you check out, you might start to really dive in. With modern streaming, that usually means binging the whole show at once.

These marathons don’t always turn out the way you hope, though. After a while, some shows start to really fall apart but you’ve stuck it out this far, right? That brought up a rather unsavory analogy for this person.

If you’re looking for love and are a bit unlucky in it, why not turn to fiction? Your favorite romantic comedy is unlikely to disappoint you in tough times.

Of course, nothing quite works out the way that a sitcom, romantic comedy, or even drama usually plays out. After all, real life isn’t written for an audience. So, it can seem like reality just doesn’t meet your standards after a while.

When you first meet someone, it makes sense that you might find that there’s a lot you don’t know about someone. You have to take the time to get to know them.

Of course, there’s a downside to this process too. If you learn everything there is to know about a person, you’re bound to learn something you don’t like at some point. What happens then? Time to learn about someone new, we guess.

A lot of people have boundaries about which date they’re on. For instance, you probably don’t take your date to meet your parents the first time you have dinner together.

At what point do you get into the real stuff, though? When do you confess the things that you didn’t think they were ready to hear before? As for this person, they saved their moon conspiracy theories for, at least, the fifth date.

Plenty of people have found a hobby in thrifting. After all, you can take a look around and find some really invaluable items that you love in a thrift store!

Thrifting is all about taking a look at various things and finding the things that really stand out to you but don’t come at an overinflated price. You know, dating isn’t that much different, is it?

When you meet someone, as we’ve said, you’re bound to learn something that you don’t like about them. When do you tell them what’s going on, though?

Then again, there are some things that you just can’t help but comment on when you learn about them. For example, this person was only on the second date when they realized that this cat needed a new name… and stat. Was it too soon to ask for this honor?

There are some memes about dating that you’ve probably seen again and again online. At some point, someone has to breathe new life into them or let them go.

This person found a new way to add a twist to this commonly reformatted meme. Honestly, it’s a good one when it comes to an old meme format making us laugh once again. As for Susan, it seems she still isn’t listening.

A date is all about spending time together and getting to know each other. You can get really creative about where you go and what you do.

This person knew one way that someone could learn something about them and they could get something off of their to-do list. Technically, it fits the quota, we guess. You’re spending time together and your date is definitely learning a lot about you, including how many cavities you have.

We’ve already talked about how there are some red flags to watch out for when you start dating someone. There are some green flags, too.

Who could say no to someone who’s soft, strong, and agile? Sounds like they’re athletic, at least. The fourth point leaves us wondering a little bit but sure. Yet, the last part adds up although it won’t lead to wedding bells when it comes to a pet.

At some point, you meet someone that makes you wonder if dating is even worth it, probably before you meet someone that makes you think you’ve found The One.

However, we have to guess that everyone is the villain in someone else’s story at some point, no matter how kind they are. So, when you think about it, maybe we’re all on a more level playing field than we think when it comes to modern dating.

Modern dating can be really complicated. This means that you have to clarify some things that you might not have had to clarify before. For instance, what if someone doesn’t use the phrase, “Do you want to go on a date?”

What if they just say, “Let’s go to dinner?” Does that mean it’s platonic? It’s hard out there without these specifics nailed down. From the sounds of it, Alison agrees!

There are some icebreaker questions that you can ask when you aren’t sure what to ask. For instance, what would be your superpower or who would you have at dinner if you could invite anyone?

This OP was ready for someone to ask where they’d go if they had the option. On top of that, they had already decided exactly who they were going to go with — absolutely no one. This would be a solo mission.

There are some things that you just don’t want to do on the first or maybe even the second date. However, when you spend a lot of time around each other, it’s bound to happen.

This person was clearly trying to go for a discreet moment to step away. The only problem is that the walls were a bit too thin to keep her secret in the bathroom. At least the smell is trapped in there instead of out here.

Breaking up isn’t easy to do, especially the first time you have to do it. How do you make that blow land as soft as possible?

You could go with a cliché — it’s not you, it’s me. However, these often lose their meaning over time and with so much use, so it’s not as comforting as it might once have been. Well, if nothing else they’ll always be the answer to one big question in your life.

Dating apps are a staple of modern dating. If you want to meet someone online, this is one of the fastest and easiest ways to do it.

That being said, just like when you’re meeting people face-to-face, there are going to be a lot more people you don’t like than you like. This person found the whole experience oddly comforting even if they didn’t solve the problem.

There are a lot of people out there who think that dating apps are the worst part of modern dating. A lot of people only have horror stories.

As for this person, they had a pretty honest opinion to share. If you want to try out dating apps and haven’t heard great things, don’t worry. Things are much, much worse than they seem like they are when you really give it a try.

With modern dating, you probably send more texts back in forth than calls when you’re getting to know each other and maybe even beyond.

That also means that if anyone else finds them, they’ll be able to see all of your flirtations as well. Of course, you probably aren’t going to run into that problem unless this specific fear comes true.

To attract someone’s attention, you have to make it known that you’re attracted to them in a way that isn’t off-putting or unsettling. For this, you have to rely on flirting.

However, it’s not as easy as it seems to come in the movies. After all, we’re all working on the spot to impress people who we might not know a lot about at the time. It can be really hard to know exactly how to stick the landing.